Kids Say the Darndest Things


This week (Monday-Friday), I’ve been volunteering as a youth assistant at my church’s Vacation Bible School. I’ve volunteered there for the past 5 years. I usually request working with the 4-5 year old kids and this year I had rising kindergarten, which is 4-5 (or 5 1/2 as some of the kids liked to brag). I find this age group to be my favorite because they are old enough that most of the time I can carry a conversation with them and pretty much know what’s going on. But they’re also young enough that if I get lost, I can smile and nod and say “wow” and they won’t even notice that “wow” was an irrelevant comment. I love Vacation Bible School (hereafter referred to as VBS) because it gets me volunteer hours for school but I also love doing it. And, I usually get some great stories out of it. This year, the kids seemed extra adorable so I have more stories. That means I get to share them with you!

  • Two girls in my class like to pretend they are kittens. That’s really cute to watch because they just crawl around and make adorable kitten noises. Then they demanded that I be the mom. I had no idea what to do! So I pretended I was the mom and just continued to watch them. They corrected me anytime I was doing something wrong. Also, they thought it was fun to be two little trouble-makers and just make a mess of all the toys in the room. It wasn’t fun.
  • One little girl got upset because I was paying attention to someone else. So when I went to ask her what was wrong, she told me it wasn’t fair that I wasn’t paying her as much attention because she loved me! That made me feel great about my skills with little kids.
  • There was one boy in my class who isn’t the most enthusiastic so during the activities he either likes to sit on the ground and make this really annoying moaning sound or he continues to work until after it’s time to go and then complains when he hasn’t finished because he spent the first part of the class moaning!
  • There was another youth volunteer in my class and he somehow attracted the attention of one of the younger dudes. Said younger dude was so excited to meet a new and older friend so he went home that night and made friendship bracelets for him and the youth volunteer. How adorable is that??
  • One girl was trying to be funny by being mean (I don’t understand why some little kids think it’s funny to be mean) and she called me ugly. Then a boy who heard her quickly assured me that I was in fact very pretty.
  • The same girl also told me that I have boy hair (I have a long pixie) and try as I might, I could not explain that it was not boy hair.
  • Then in music class, one girl wasn’t dancing so I told her that I didn’t think she could dance. She obviously had to prove me wrong! And man, did she! That girl was so excited to prove to me that she could dance AND that she could dance better than everyone else.
  • All of the kids in the class got into their little heads that tickling me is the best thing in the entire world. But they’re all kinda short so I have to pretend to laugh while they poke my legs. I actually laugh when they stretch their arms all the way up so that they can reach my belly and arms (I’m extremely ticklish).
  • One girl decided that the best way to walk was to grab my right hand in her left hand and my left hand in her right hand. Then she walked in zig-zags. So I’m crouched over, with my arms crossed in front on her, walking in zig-zags, and trying not to step on any little feet.
  • I pushed a girl on the swing one time and the rest of the week she decided that no one could do it as well as I could. So she would run to the swings after she finished her snack and then scream my name across the playground until I came to push her. I got a huge shoulder workout this week.
  • One girl called me a boom-butt. I don’t really know what this is but I think she was, once again, trying to be funny by being mean. I told her that that wasn’t a nice thing to call somebody. A few minutes later, a different girl came up to me with some flowers she had picked from a bush and gave them to me. She was very sorry that the other girl had called me a boom-butt.
  • A little girl came in on Friday and was showing off her new stingray necklace. So obviously I complemented her on it. She told me I could pet it if, and only if, I used one finger: my pinky finger.
  • One girl was on the playground and dropped her name tag while she was swinging and got really worried that we would all forget her name while she was on the swing. So every few minutes she would remind everyone.
  • The way the program is scheduled, each class is assigned a color. Each class also walks around with another class that is a similar age. So even though I was a youth assistant for the red class, I was pretty familiar with the purple class, who traveled with us. But on the second day, a purple kid just came and sat in my lap. I didn’t know who he was and he didn’t know who I was but I had an open lap and that was exactly what he was looking for.

So I think those are all my stories. Hopefully you enjoyed reading them. I had a smile on my face writing this post. VBS is really fun and if your church does it, I highly recommend signing up to help out next summer. VBS has definitely become one of the highlights of my summers.


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